


Moonage Daydream

by Solid_Cat



Series: The Spiders From Mars [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: AU, Coffee, Flirting, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Not Beta Read, Phantom Thieves are mentioned, Sexual Tension, The Phantom Thieves have no powers, They’re Just Vigilantes, Tsundere Goro Akechi, we die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25137496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solid_Cat/pseuds/Solid_Cat
Summary: The Phantom Thieves are a group of vigilantes who fight crime, working outside the law. Predictably, their methods anger the logic driven ace detective, Goro Akechi.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: The Spiders From Mars [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825450
Comments: 5
Kudos: 66





	Moonage Daydream

Goro couldn’t be more unlucky if he were immediately struck by lightning while walking underneath a ladder and simultaneously being dragged down into the very depths of hell. Yet, here he was, nowhere near cracking the case, his job on the line, and to make matters worse, he was being mugged in an alley by some common thug. 

“Pu-Put your hands behind your head and get your wa-wallet!” the mugger stutters out with a nervous disposition, timidly trying to hold his pistol straight to the back of Goro’s head. Jesus, Goro could JUST sense the sweat on the robber’s brow. Taking a moment to look behind himself, Goro noticed the robber trembling. He could risk knocking the firearm out of his hands, but with the mobber’s skittish behavior, he would easily be risking his own life. So, instead, Goro decides to mock him.

“First time?” 

“Sh-Sh-Shut up! I’ll shoot! Gi-ive me all your mo-money!”

“How exactly do you expect me to give you my wallet with my hands up behind my head, you utter fool?”

“That’s enough you two!” a triumphant voice. OH NO! Him! Turning his neck-YEP. There he was. The very leader of the phantom thieves himself. Joker. He stood proudly above the scene with his coat blowing with the wind, a shit eating grin on his stupidly handsome face. With a singular back flip, Joker leapt down from the building, down to the floor with the mugger and Goro.

“Now then, sir, looks like you’ve got this man in a particularly unpleasant situation.” Joker draws out, sensually.

Fuck.

“St-Stop!” The mugger nervously swings his arms, pointing his gun straight at Joker.

There! Goro immediately knocks the gun onto the pavement, hitting the ground with a loud thud. Joker immediately bends over, picking up the firearm. The mugger panics, shaking as he raises his arms up to his head. Goro simply rolls his eyes. God, how he wishes he could be anywhere else.

“Now, then, why don’t we all talk like civilized people.” Joker says as he nonchalantly tosses the pistol behind himself without even looking, over into an open dumpster, with a loud thud. “Sir,” he looks at the mugger. “Do you honestly want to rob this poor man? What’s next? You rob an old woman? A child? A family? Trust me, you’re not like this.”

The robber breaks down into tears. “I just really need the money, man.” He sobs. 

Goro just wants to vomit.

“I understand that, but there has to be other ways to go about this. Robbing people? You’re just gonna hurt folks. Let’s face it, you’re better than this.” Joker says soothingly. “Just go home and sleep it off. You’ll figure out a better way. I know you will. You’re smarter than this.” 

The robber sniffles. “Oh-Okay. I will.” He rises, leaving the alley without a second glance, his tail between his legs.

Joker turns toward Goro, their eyes meeting like two colliding black holes. Intrigue stares back at intrigue.

“Hello there, Detective. Fancy meeting you again.”

“That man did not deserve your sympathy.” Goro walks past Joker, reaching for the gun in the dumpster.

“Oftentimes the people who don’t deserve it are the ones who most need it. Besides, life isn’t about deserve.” Joker contends.

“Damned stupid thing.” Goro glares down at the firearm. “Now I have to confiscate this.”

“Your welcome, dear Detective.” Joker badgers.

“I did not need your help, Joker. In case you don’t know, I don’t trust you.” Goro hisses like a feral cat.

“Oh, I know. I know. Because I’m a vigilante.” 

“Because you work outside the law! There are carefully constructed systems put in place to prevent the average everyday man and woman from taking the law into their own hands, yet you and your precious band of phantom thieves come along and do exactly that. For no logical sense other than you and your ridiculous friends think you know the law better than those who spend years studying it! And to make matters worse, you all do it masked. Cowards.”

Joker huffs, sassily crossing his arms. “Silly Detective. Maybe if corruption didn’t exist in your oh so well thought out system, perhaps my friends and I wouldn’t feel the need to get our hands dirty.”

“Do not patronize me, Joker!” Akechi glares at him. 

“It’s not patronizing. You know I’m not lying.” 

God, Goro just wanted to punch Joker in his stupidly perfect teeth. God, what a horrible evening. Stupid mugger. Stupid gun. Stupid Joker.

“By the way, did anyone tell you your hair looks pretty good today?” Joker asks, flirtatiously.

“Shut the hell up.” Akechi complains, looking down at his watch. “Christ. Did the trains really stop running?!” 

“Looks like it.” Joker looks down at his watch too, causing Goro to nervously back off. 

Joker let out a sly chuckle, before shooting his grappling hook out towards a building, the hook catching onto the side of a nearby building. Extending a hand towards Akechi, Joker spoke. “I could give you a ride home if you like.”

Goro laughed. “You still remember where I live after you broke in?”

“I’m not a forgetful man. Well?” He waves his palm up, as if to beckon the detective prince towards him. 

“Fine, then. It is very late.” Goro says, accepting the hand with his own, their fingers interlocking. Goro feels a warmth in his cheeks. Joker smirks. 

“Hold on tight, my dear detective.”

“Oh fuck!” Goro cries out as Joker whips him forward, Akechi falling into the gentleman thief's arms. With that, the two took off.

Joker and Goro flew upwards, onto the building. Joker shifted Akechi’s weight so he was holding the detective, bridal style. And with that, Joker took off running across the rooftops, the one and only Goro Akechi in his arms.

How romantic, right?

  
Goro thought he must be the world’s biggest idiot for agreeing for this. Riding along the rooftops of Tokyo in the very arms of his so called rival, Joker. And here the man was enjoying this girlish fantasy come horrendously true. Oh, the utter humanity! Goro truly was weak. Oh, crap! A dip. Goro feels as if his stomach rose up to where his lungs were. A ride! He instinctively grips Joker’s shoulders tighter, wanting to punch the ever living daylights out of this nasty crime boy.

“Here, we are, sweet Prince.” Joker proclaims, joyfully as he lands upon the balcony of Goro Akechi’s apartment. 

“You asshole.” Goro complains, sliding the door open, walking in, then slamming the poor thing shut with the force of a locomotive.

“Hey! Aren’t you gonna invite me in, Detective?” Joker playfully puts his arm over his head, distressed. 

What a fool. 

Goro slides the door open. “You never told me why you and your little friends broke in here last time.”

“A good phantom thief never reveals his secrets, Detective Prince.” Joker proclaims. 

“Oh how foolish for me to assume otherwise, Joker.” Goro loosens his formerly tight grip on the door. “Well then, goodnight Joker.”

“Good night, Prince.” Joker leaned forward and pressed a chaste little kiss on the detective’s lips.

Wait, what?!

The two individuals just stared at each other. Like did he really just do that? He wasn’t just playing with his flirtiness? Why a detective? Why him? What the fuck!? Why with Goro? It made no logical sense. Oh my god!!

Joker leaned forward, kissing the detective again. Oh god. He pulled back again. 

“Tell me to stop, Detective.”

Tell him to stop. Jesus Christ! Tell him to stop! Tell him stop! Why are you second thinking this Goro Akechi! Tell him to stop! Christ. Dios mio! WHY! WHY! WHAT THE HELL.

“Don’t stop.”

Okay, then, fucking fool. 

Joker kissed him again, with more passion. More fervor. More ardor. And Goro? Well, the fucking dumbass bastard kissed back, intensely. YEs!

Goro, pulled the gentleman thief closer, inside. Walking backwards towards his bed until he fell onto it. Joker pounced on him in an instant.

* * *

In the morning, Joker was gone, and all Goro had to show for that endeavor were a couple of hickies and some scratches and bruises. Wild night.

Goro decides to go into his favorite coffee shop before confiscating that godforsaken pistol from last night. Dammit.

Akira Kurusu, his favorite barista, serves him a nice cup of Joe that morning, a sincere look on his face.

“So how was he?” 

Wait...what!?

Goro spits his coffee straight onto Kurusu’s face. 

“AHHH FUCK!” The barista screams in agony.

“OH SHIT! Kurusu-Kun, I’m so sorry!” Goro rises, reaching his hand towards the man. Akira grabs a cold wet towel, rubbing his face. 

“It’s fine! It’s fine!” He reassures. “Oh my god.”

  
“Kurusu! I just spit coffee in your face! Let me take you to the doctor!” 

* * *

Goro takes Akira to the clinic.

Doctor Takemi looks at Akira’s face, while Goro sheepishly sits off in the corner. 

“Lucky for you, the coffee wasn’t too hot.” Takemi says. “There’s no blistering. Hmm, you really didn’t need to come. In any case, you’ll be fine. Let me get some aloe vera for you, and I’ll send you both on your way.”

As Takemi left the room, Akira turned to Goro, gazing straight at him.

“Kurusu, I’m really sorry! I shouldn’t have spit in your face!” Goro blurts out like his words are vomit.

“It’s fine, Akechi. It’s fine. I shouldn’t have scared you like that! I just noticed the marks on your neck, and I thought to ask.” He paused to nervously laugh. “It’s not a big deal. Just forget about it!” 

“Heh.” Goro nervously laughed, rubbing at the hickies on his neck. “Right.”

**Author's Note:**

> It’s up to interpretation if they had sex but most likely you will interpret it as yes.


End file.
